Before Sage went to sleep last night she climbed up beside me on the couch and sang a song in my ear. Her song was made of some words I understood, but mostly words she made up on her own. She sang softly- close to a whisper- while tugging on my hair and gently rocking her head back and forth. My heart grew even deeper in love with her at that very moment, I could have sat there all night listening to her sweet little voice in my ear.
Her song lasted for about a minute before she was too sleepy to continue on. She put her head on my shoulder signaling to me it was time for books and bed. Of course, I listened to her queue because these babies grow so fast and take in so much during the day, they need all the rest they can get.
With almost two years of life experience under Sage's wings, I'm enjoying the transformation she is currently making from baby to toddler. Her little body is thinning out and her legs are growing longer. She moves swiftly around outside- running fast and confidently in the grass. She has acquired the balancing skills needed to bend down and explore the earth whenever her heart desires. She babbles a lot, which is the cutest thing. And she has become very intrigued with rocks, tractors, horses, butterflies, cows and chickens. These are some of her favorite things.
She hugs us tight and loves us fiercely. When she is upset- she expresses it passionately. I like this too. I'm learning to deal with moments like these more effectively- and, honestly, sometimes I just take in her emotional breakdowns with amazement. I think to myself...'This child of mine is so full of beauty and emotion - look at her expressing her feelings, she feels so free with me'.
I've decided the "terrible two" phase is a product of little kids understanding life a bit more now, but still not having the verbal abilities to express fully what they are thinking. I think in some instances there is a lot of frustration built up inside their little bodies because of this. They want so badly to say what they are feeling, but don't know how to express it yet.
Physically, too, they are still small and don't move around as well as big kids do. I see Sage observing her fellow park friends intently during our trips there. She studies them like a little anthropologist, and traces their bodies with her eyes as they run freely up and down the playground. These children are so athletic and full of energy. They climb up the slides and soar down them with ease. Their strong legs pump the swings they are on high into the air. She watches as they swing back and forth, back and forth, their feet nearly touching the leaves in the trees above them. Her need for independence in this manner has bloomed into a full flower these days. She has an ambitious little spirit inside of her. She is gentle, but she is also ambitious and assertive, and she wants to do what they do!
When it comes down to it, though, she is still too young and fragile. Unlike the bigger kids, I have to trail behind her as she fearlessly climbs up the playground equipment that is obviously too big for her. She tries her best to get to where she wants to go all on her own and does a fabulous job of refusing any help I try to give along the way.
Physically, too, they are still small and don't move around as well as big kids do. I see Sage observing her fellow park friends intently during our trips there. She studies them like a little anthropologist, and traces their bodies with her eyes as they run freely up and down the playground. These children are so athletic and full of energy. They climb up the slides and soar down them with ease. Their strong legs pump the swings they are on high into the air. She watches as they swing back and forth, back and forth, their feet nearly touching the leaves in the trees above them. Her need for independence in this manner has bloomed into a full flower these days. She has an ambitious little spirit inside of her. She is gentle, but she is also ambitious and assertive, and she wants to do what they do!
When it comes down to it, though, she is still too young and fragile. Unlike the bigger kids, I have to trail behind her as she fearlessly climbs up the playground equipment that is obviously too big for her. She tries her best to get to where she wants to go all on her own and does a fabulous job of refusing any help I try to give along the way.
Once she makes it to the top, I watch as she proudly walks over to where the big slides are. This is when her fear creeps in. At this point she realizes she has reached her limit and decides that type of independence is actually not what she wants right now. She needs help. She needs me again.
In moments like these, I pick her up and take her down the slide with me. Like Sage's changing body and attitude, I'm understanding my role as a mother is changing a bit as well. Apart from comforting and caring for my girl, which is a trait naturally sewn into many mama's from the moment our babies are placed in our arms, I'm seeing the importance of guidance. I need to guide her along, while also letting her learn on her own. I think the balance of those two elements are important to take note of as a mama. I want my girl to always know I'm there if she needs me, but I also want her to feel free and confident enough to explore and find her own way.
So, this is how I've been approaching our park trips- I've been learning from them. Sage absolutely loves it there and is so tired when we leave. Perhaps by Fall she will be able to travel around the playground equipment without her mother trailing closely behind her. I think if she could find a way to avoid the scary, big kid slide, she would love this greatly!
xo
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