free falling

I walk in circles around my work desk eating a banana. Twice I walk around limping a bit because my right knee is hurt. The knee was sore and achy before I pushed it through a thirteen mile run and now I'm paying for it. I can feel it healing though. As I move around in my circle eating my banana, I can feel the pain lessening.

The colorful leaves came and now they have fallen. I wasn't expecting to like the looks of these bare trees as much as I do at the moment, but I have to say I do feel comforted by them. I'm liking their rawness, they are so strong to brave these colder months completely naked.

The sun sets as I leave work. There will be a little bit of daylight left once I pull out of the parking lot, but once I hit Eastern Boulevard it is dark and head light after head light shines brightly in my eyes. Lately I've noticed my drive homes being full of thought, my head in the clouds. I'll come to my senses at a point and realize- wow, I've been driving in silence, I got myself from this point and to that point without even realizing it. I'll lose myself again- thinking, thinking, thinking and then before I know it, I'm pulling into my mother-in-laws drive way. I turn the engine off and swallow in the cold, gusty air as I open my car door. Inside I go in search of my daughter so I can give her a kiss on her beautiful rosy cheek.

This weather is forcing us inside but my body doesn't feel like hunkering down, it doesn't feel like covering up. And winter seems to be a time to be sedentary in a sense but my spirit wants none of that.

And it is all very funny because I wrote that a few weeks ago and right now all I want is to be still with my family and watch a festive holiday movie all snuggled up. I feel so grateful for them and to everyone else and it is cold and dreary outside and I am tired.