Listening to the heart's voice

 We woke up this morning to find that Winter had finally graced her presence on this land, as she left a beautiful dusting of snow outside.This snow storm seemed to be very gentle and calm. We heard nothing of it last night while sleeping and the visual aspect of actually (FINALLY) seeing snow was warming to the heart.

Along with all the pretty snowflakes, there were small icicles hanging from the ceiling of our porch and ice fragments, that looked a lot like leaves, laying on nearby bushes.

As Sage was waking up, I quickly made some coffee for Kyle and I to enjoy. As that magical stuff brewed, I got Sage from her crib, changed her diaper, and let her look outside to see her first snow. As expected, she didn't react much, but I wonder what she was thinking. Did her little mind notice any difference?
We moved to the living room next. Sage played with her toys while I read and sipped on my coffee.

I'm loving the book I've got my hands on right now- this morning I read the most beautiful thing from the main character...It really struck a cord in me.
Corrag says... 

" I think how we live our lives is our own doing, and we cannot fully hope on dreams and stars. But dreams and stars can guide us, perhaps. And the heart's voice is a strong one. Always is.

Listen to it, it's my advice.....Your heart's voice is your true voice. It is easy to ignore it, for sometimes it says what we'd rather it did not- and it is so hard to risk the things we have.  But what life are we living, if we don't live by our hearts? Not a true one. And the person living it is not the true you."  (The Highland Witch, Susan Fletcher)

It was refreshing to read this. I've been really struggling about what is next for me. My beautiful baby is growing every day- but I feel I need to make sure I continue my growth as a person, too. Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I figured I would have my baby...get in a routine with her...find childcare and then find a job that would start a career for myself that made me happy. I thought this was really the only way to not fall deep into mommy mode, and completely lose sight of my identity and creative energy.

How wrong was I. I didn't quite realize how much I was going to enjoy this new role of mine. To my surprise, I don't feel the need to jump into the workforce to feel creative and free. My heart's voice is telling me to take in this time with my daughter. This is what I want right now. Especially during this time of constant changes. Everyday I feel she begins to do something new- all of it being so amazing and fun to watch.

 I know with time, perhaps even a few months down the road, this voice will change. Plus, financially I have no choice but to get my butt back to work.  But, at the moment, I'm so grateful to be able to make the choice I'm making.